Comments on: Critique Required by BTEC Photography Student http://veritymay.wordpress.com/2009/05/12/what-is-it-good-for/ Just another WordPress.com weblog Fri, 06 Nov 2009 11:07:36 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: Karen Massey http://veritymay.wordpress.com/2009/05/12/what-is-it-good-for/#comment-25 Karen Massey Sun, 31 May 2009 19:19:19 +0000 http://veritymay.wordpress.com/?p=3#comment-25 Hi I prefer the second B & W image as I feel there is more of a sense of a relationship (more of a story going on!) Hi I prefer the second B & W image as I feel there is more of a sense of a relationship (more of a story going on!)

]]> By: einar parker http://veritymay.wordpress.com/2009/05/12/what-is-it-good-for/#comment-24 einar parker Sat, 30 May 2009 21:55:43 +0000 http://veritymay.wordpress.com/?p=3#comment-24 First photo - stronger composition go for it! Tells bigger story than the second one. Baloons I like ballons on the sky more. More space there better story. I was watching your photos listeningg to the songs and they have in common sunshine sky, then in original german version of 99 luftbaloons Nena sings that baloons are on the way to horizont so... Good luck fingers crossed! First photo – stronger composition go for it! Tells bigger story than the second one.
Baloons I like ballons on the sky more. More space there better story.
I was watching your photos listeningg to the songs and they have in common sunshine sky, then in original german version of 99 luftbaloons Nena sings that baloons are on the way to horizont so…
Good luck fingers crossed!

]]> By: keith http://veritymay.wordpress.com/2009/05/12/what-is-it-good-for/#comment-22 keith Sat, 23 May 2009 16:59:43 +0000 http://veritymay.wordpress.com/?p=3#comment-22 I agree the top image, with the clock - its an important element to the story line but didnt realize until I read the first comment. Balloon in the sky "feels" better than in the rubble. Whats the BTEC? I'm in the US & went to Brooks a photography school in Santa Barbara - many years ago. I'm an instructor, photo & photoshop. I agree the top image, with the clock – its an important element to the story line but didnt realize until I read the first comment. Balloon in the sky “feels” better than in the rubble. Whats the BTEC? I’m in the US & went to Brooks a photography school in Santa Barbara – many years ago.

I’m an instructor, photo & photoshop.

]]> By: T Vasquez http://veritymay.wordpress.com/2009/05/12/what-is-it-good-for/#comment-20 T Vasquez Tue, 19 May 2009 00:41:39 +0000 http://veritymay.wordpress.com/?p=3#comment-20 Verity, Your compositions are strong and well thought out in relation to your theme. Your nostaligic black and white images tell a sequented story all its own, however, you want to use one image so it is number two. The use of triangulation to represent the connection to the song is the key. I have not heard the song but that is a sidebar to any viewer. The image is the big noise (so to speak). The feet are the connection to what is being told. In the first image the man's feet are not connecting to the woman's feet at all. The suitcase is the second connection. On the right of the feet in the first image the suitcase connects to the clock and the sign at the far right; this is the wrong triangulation. In the second image the suitcase and the sets of feet and the train all make sense. This way everything else in the image falls into relation with the connection. The color images are great-meaning strong and draws the viewer into the composition. The sun and the sky is lost a bit due to the effect of what you are attempting to achieve with your theme (nuclear attack/war). Photoshop could be used to give a slight (just a bit) effect. I enjoy looking at Chromasia it's a nice break from my own studies. Keep clicking, All the Best, T Verity,

Your compositions are strong and well thought out in relation to your theme. Your nostaligic black and white images tell a sequented story all its own, however, you want to use one image so it is number two. The use of triangulation to represent the connection to the song is the key. I have not heard the song but that is a sidebar to any viewer. The image is the big noise (so to speak). The feet are the connection to what is being told. In the first image the man’s feet are not connecting to the woman’s feet at all. The suitcase is the second connection. On the right of the feet in the first image the suitcase connects to the clock and the sign at the far right; this is the wrong triangulation. In the second image the suitcase and the sets of feet and the train all make sense. This way everything else in the image falls into relation with the connection.

The color images are great-meaning strong and draws the viewer into the composition. The sun and the sky is lost a bit due to the effect of what you are attempting to achieve with your theme (nuclear attack/war). Photoshop could be used to give a slight (just a bit) effect.

I enjoy looking at Chromasia it’s a nice break from my own studies.

Keep clicking,

All the Best,

T

]]> By: Helen Jones http://veritymay.wordpress.com/2009/05/12/what-is-it-good-for/#comment-19 Helen Jones Mon, 18 May 2009 18:21:29 +0000 http://veritymay.wordpress.com/?p=3#comment-19 Verity, Lovely strong atmospheric images. Well done! I really can't decide which of the two monochrome images I prefer. My first instinct is the second one because it shows a lot of thought and creativity although it feels more staged than the first one which is more real somehow. Anyway, I'm sure it doesn't matter too much as they are both excellent. The balloon shots are great too - well worth the early morning! Good luck Helen Verity,

Lovely strong atmospheric images. Well done! I really can’t decide which of the two monochrome images I prefer. My first instinct is the second one because it shows a lot of thought and creativity although it feels more staged than the first one which is more real somehow. Anyway, I’m sure it doesn’t matter too much as they are both excellent.

The balloon shots are great too – well worth the early morning!

Good luck

Helen

]]> By: Graham http://veritymay.wordpress.com/2009/05/12/what-is-it-good-for/#comment-18 Graham Mon, 18 May 2009 14:55:45 +0000 http://veritymay.wordpress.com/?p=3#comment-18 Verity, I have arrived here via Chromasia. I think your images are spot on with the theme you have selected. Regarding the choice between the two black and white images, it has to be the first one for me because I focus on the people. In the second image my eyes focussed on the suitcase and I thought that was the centre of focus, whereas in the first the story was a couple separating at the railway station. Good luck with your final exams etc. graham Verity,

I have arrived here via Chromasia.

I think your images are spot on with the theme you have selected. Regarding the choice between the two black and white images, it has to be the first one for me because I focus on the people. In the second image my eyes focussed on the suitcase and I thought that was the centre of focus, whereas in the first the story was a couple separating at the railway station.

Good luck with your final exams etc.

graham

]]> By: Polis Varnava http://veritymay.wordpress.com/2009/05/12/what-is-it-good-for/#comment-17 Polis Varnava Sun, 17 May 2009 12:48:52 +0000 http://veritymay.wordpress.com/?p=3#comment-17 Hello Verity, I love your work very much, the balloons are great but the train station could be better.Instead of showing just the legs (which is artistic and i like it ) why didnt you show a warm goodbye kiss and a hug. To show that is probably the last time they see each other.You could show the passion and the impact of the last kiss the girl trying to get him back and crying for loosing him.You could show her laying down in the ground crying and reading the goodbye letter after the boy leaves with the train and not just showing her hands with the paper and the guy leaving.In real life the girl should run behind the boy and try to stop him make him change his mind (if you know what i mean), i dont think there was time for the girl to start reading the letter while the boy was still there.Dont get dissapointed your work is great , i just wanted to emphasize some things. Keep up the great work ! Polis Hello Verity,

I love your work very much, the balloons are great but the train station could be better.Instead of showing just the legs (which is artistic and i like it ) why didnt you show a warm goodbye kiss and a hug. To show that is probably the last time they see each other.You could show the passion and the impact of the last kiss the girl trying to get him back and crying for loosing him.You could show her laying down in the ground crying and reading the goodbye letter after the boy leaves with the train and not just showing her hands with the paper and the guy leaving.In real life the girl should run behind the boy and try to stop him make him change his mind (if you know what i mean), i dont think there was time for the girl to start reading the letter while the boy was still there.Dont get dissapointed your work is great , i just wanted to emphasize some things.

Keep up the great work !

Polis

]]> By: janinewhitephotography http://veritymay.wordpress.com/2009/05/12/what-is-it-good-for/#comment-16 janinewhitephotography Sat, 16 May 2009 01:01:31 +0000 http://veritymay.wordpress.com/?p=3#comment-16 Verity, I love your work :) Out of the first two b&w images, for me the first is the strongest in compositon. Love your balloon images too :) Best of luck. Janine x Verity,

I love your work :)
Out of the first two b&w images, for me the first is the strongest in compositon.
Love your balloon images too :)

Best of luck.

Janine
x

]]> By: csj @ID7 http://veritymay.wordpress.com/2009/05/12/what-is-it-good-for/#comment-15 csj @ID7 Fri, 15 May 2009 15:01:56 +0000 http://veritymay.wordpress.com/?p=3#comment-15 Verity I took the same course several hundred years ago, and admire anyone who can make it through to a distinction, and then onto a career in photography. I know you are not there yet, but I am sure if you maintain the quality that I see above then you have a bright future. Now the story above is strong enough, but the last image (and I think someone else has said it) could well have been a totally deflated balloon, I think the metaphor and symbolism would have been stronger. Other than that no critiscm, nice use of leading lines in all main shots and the use of thirds and selective cropping is pretty much spot on. Interesting to see that you used three aspect ratios to tell one story, its almost as if you are testing the audience to see how they react to any one particular format, rather than completing the series in a set format. Is this somehthing thats taught, or was it a requirement?..... anyway good luck, and hope your assesment is high. Oh and of the top two images, the second is more appealing and well balanced on the eye. And yes they all work well with those songs. Regards Craig @ ID7 Verity
I took the same course several hundred years ago, and admire anyone who can make it through to a distinction, and then onto a career in photography. I know you are not there yet, but I am sure if you maintain the quality that I see above then you have a bright future. Now the story above is strong enough, but the last image (and I think someone else has said it) could well have been a totally deflated balloon, I think the metaphor and symbolism would have been stronger. Other than that no critiscm, nice use of leading lines in all main shots and the use of thirds and selective cropping is pretty much spot on. Interesting to see that you used three aspect ratios to tell one story, its almost as if you are testing the audience to see how they react to any one particular format, rather than completing the series in a set format. Is this somehthing thats taught, or was it a requirement?….. anyway good luck, and hope your assesment is high. Oh and of the top two images, the second is more appealing and well balanced on the eye. And yes they all work well with those songs. Regards Craig @ ID7

]]> By: Bryan http://veritymay.wordpress.com/2009/05/12/what-is-it-good-for/#comment-14 Bryan Fri, 15 May 2009 13:12:10 +0000 http://veritymay.wordpress.com/?p=3#comment-14 Hi Verity, I've also come over from chromasia. Your photos have been executed with skill and look very nice. So I'm going to focus on the storytelling aspect. For the first set, think about who is telling this story. The third image is strongly the woman's point of view, but the first two aren't. So it isn't first person or third person, which becomes a bit unsettling. Another small point of notice is that only the second photo is tilted. This, in my opinion, is another who-is-telling-the-story thing. Consistent details can bring it all together when working on a series. For the second set, although it's too late now, I would consider scale. You chose to go with a literal interpretation and show red balloons. Nothing wrong with that. However, showing just one balloon or 99 would be much stronger than showing a handful of balloons. As you mentioned, this is a song of great contrast. So go big, or go small, but stay away from the middle (unless your story warrants being in the middle). Well, enough of that. A few photo critiques: in image 1 series 1, the top of the case almost lining up with the horizon is causing tension, which could be working for you if you planned it that way. In image 2, series 2, the balloons in the corner are cluttering an otherwise gorgeous shot. Once again, great job overall. Just some things to think about in the future. Bryan Hi Verity,

I’ve also come over from chromasia.

Your photos have been executed with skill and look very nice. So I’m going to focus on the storytelling aspect.

For the first set, think about who is telling this story. The third image is strongly the woman’s point of view, but the first two aren’t. So it isn’t first person or third person, which becomes a bit unsettling. Another small point of notice is that only the second photo is tilted. This, in my opinion, is another who-is-telling-the-story thing. Consistent details can bring it all together when working on a series.

For the second set, although it’s too late now, I would consider scale. You chose to go with a literal interpretation and show red balloons. Nothing wrong with that. However, showing just one balloon or 99 would be much stronger than showing a handful of balloons. As you mentioned, this is a song of great contrast. So go big, or go small, but stay away from the middle (unless your story warrants being in the middle).

Well, enough of that. A few photo critiques: in image 1 series 1, the top of the case almost lining up with the horizon is causing tension, which could be working for you if you planned it that way. In image 2, series 2, the balloons in the corner are cluttering an otherwise gorgeous shot.

Once again, great job overall. Just some things to think about in the future.

Bryan

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