05.12.09
Critique Required by BTEC Photography Student
What is it Good For?
(Final major project title)
After attending “Last Night of The Spring Proms” and hearing the soprano Stephanie Corley sing the war time classic “We’ll Meet again”I decided I would like to use this song in some way in my final major project. I thought it would be interesting to have a contrasting song era wise to work with also. In looking for a contrasting songs I thought about possible nuclear wars and a google search brought up 99 Red Balloons which is contrasting in every way as its tune sounds upbeat and optimistic whereas its lyrics are dark and pessimistic. On the other hand my original song has quite a sorrowful song but is optimistic and upbeat.
I would appreciate feedback from members of the photographic community on the images below and how well you feel they depict my chosen songs.
The black and white images, I am only wanting to use 2 but can’t decide between the top 2, please help!
Nicki said,
May 12, 2009 at 5:46 pm
Ok – i’m not a member of your community but i want tell you that the style of the B/W pictures are absolute fantastic. I would prefer the first one because of the store: the clock, the wide station, the stood of the pair. Wonderfull! Good luck …
Chris MacKenzie said,
May 13, 2009 at 8:29 am
I Love your images Verity, they are all very poignant.
My favourites are the letter and the ballon with the rubble. For me a photograph has to have emotion to capture the viewer.
I think you have captured a strong sense of loss in all of these images. I could look at them over and over again.
Awesome – Good luck …..
Simon Fazackarley said,
May 13, 2009 at 10:32 am
Hey Verity,
Nice song choices, great contrasts. I really love the red balloon series & the layout really works! loving the flare in the ‘floating away’ shot.
Black & whites are all nice & you’ve got a genuine feeling of loss, but my preference would be the top one & the bottom one, as I can see them working really nicely together to convey the message.
although what I (& the other commenter’s) like & what the marker’s like may be 2 different things though
Anyway, Good luck & let us know how you get on!
Stewart Randall said,
May 14, 2009 at 9:23 am
Hi Verity, congrats on some great images. Of the top 2 B&W images my favourite is the first one (wider angle, suitcase in the middle). The composition of this image is strong in my opinion.
Hope this helps.
Let us know how you do.
Sarah Wright said,
May 14, 2009 at 12:11 pm
Hi Verity,
some really lovely images. I love the B&W image with the reflection of her shoes in the puddle and the way you have added a warm chocolate tone to reflect the era.
I also like the floating balloon picture – it has a sense of peace when the song is about conflict. Well done.
Sabrina Henry said,
May 15, 2009 at 6:59 am
Hi Verity,
Just popping over from David Nightingale’s blog…
I am looking at your wonderful photos and listening to the music and for me, the second black and white image is my favourite. I like that you don’t see the whole figures and how they are positioned in relation to each other. You sort of have to guess the expressions on their faces but the song fills in the imagery for us.
I agree with Sarah; I also like the second balloon picture. Again I listened to the song while viewing them, and I have to say that the floating balloon and the bright light in the sky was a perfect match to the lyrics.
Nice work!
Alex said,
May 15, 2009 at 7:04 am
Hello, found this through David Nightingale and wanted to offer my advice.
Your first image, mainly because of the clock in the background, suggests a lot of things; this moment is high tension because it’s “on the clock,” this has been a long “time” coming, can’t “wait” to see you again… etc.
However, if you want the story to be more ambiguous, I would exclude the first image and use the second two.
The only problem with the last image is that the white light in the background isn’t as bright as in the other images.
As far as song choice is concerned, I think that you kind of have your back up against the wall. 99 Red Ballon’s title suggests images of red balloons, which you have. Also, the balloon images look upbeat but are actually rather dark. Overall, the concept is very nice and the execution is great as well.
My only concern is that you have too few images. Perhaps add another panel on the balloon piece that shows the balloon over a longer period of time, deflating and eroding. Or, you could make it a positive story by showing someone finding the balloon and giving it a new a home.
For the train piece, I would suggest a shot from inside the train with the man and woman framed in separate (and distant windows) to suggest their isolation from one another, but their unity in that they are separated by a contained space i.e., their love for one another.
Overall very nice images, best of luck.
Alex.
Katie Bailey said,
May 15, 2009 at 7:11 am
Hi Verity,
Been thinking about it but ~ I still stick by my original choice of the very top b+w one, great composition.
Good Luck!
Paul C said,
May 15, 2009 at 9:19 am
Terrific work Verity, brilliant composition and well thought through interpretations of the music.
From a purely aesthetic perspective, I’d choose the top B&W image every time, the viewer is drawn step by step into the image. The second, I find the train on left too distracting, it stops your eye going further into the image and revealing the story and implied tension step by step.
The balloon series is terrific too, my only comment (and purely personal) is that I’m not a fan of the ‘brick’ image, it doesn’t carry enough of the tones and colourways of the other two images forward. Maybe some processing to add some of the warm green and blue hues of the other two images would help it sit alongside the others more comfortably.
Great work though and good luck with the submissions!
Garry said,
May 15, 2009 at 9:21 am
I’m another one pointed in this direction by Mr Nightingale…
First of all, every one of these photos is great.
Black and White:-
The first two pose a problem for me since I prefer the composition of the 1stwith it’s strong leading lines, but the I think the 2nd relates to the chosen song better.The 3rd is just wonderful!
Overall I’d probably go with the 1st and the 3rd if I had to choose.
Colour:
Again a great series of shots as they stand, although I feel that the only one that links to the song is the 3rd one in the rubble – the others are just a bit too cheerful.
Hope it goes well,
Garry
António Pires said,
May 15, 2009 at 10:24 am
I prefer the first one over the second one. There is plenty of space on the right, an empty space, and a clock, emphasizing the meaning of separation (too symbolic?).
Oli Walker said,
May 15, 2009 at 10:34 am
Hi Verity,
I was directed to your photographs from Chromasia.com (David Nightingale).
I like the tone of the train station photos, but of the first two, I prefer the top photo because of its composition (including the clock). If the puddle could be incorporated as well, it would be even better.
The letter pic is lovely (shame I can’t read the small print!)
I agree with an earlier commenter, that there could be an extra image of a deflated/deflating balloon on the bricks. There’s nothing more sad than a dying balloon.
Good luck with the project!
Oli
Bryan said,
May 15, 2009 at 1:12 pm
Hi Verity,
I’ve also come over from chromasia.
Your photos have been executed with skill and look very nice. So I’m going to focus on the storytelling aspect.
For the first set, think about who is telling this story. The third image is strongly the woman’s point of view, but the first two aren’t. So it isn’t first person or third person, which becomes a bit unsettling. Another small point of notice is that only the second photo is tilted. This, in my opinion, is another who-is-telling-the-story thing. Consistent details can bring it all together when working on a series.
For the second set, although it’s too late now, I would consider scale. You chose to go with a literal interpretation and show red balloons. Nothing wrong with that. However, showing just one balloon or 99 would be much stronger than showing a handful of balloons. As you mentioned, this is a song of great contrast. So go big, or go small, but stay away from the middle (unless your story warrants being in the middle).
Well, enough of that. A few photo critiques: in image 1 series 1, the top of the case almost lining up with the horizon is causing tension, which could be working for you if you planned it that way. In image 2, series 2, the balloons in the corner are cluttering an otherwise gorgeous shot.
Once again, great job overall. Just some things to think about in the future.
Bryan
csj @ID7 said,
May 15, 2009 at 3:01 pm
Verity
I took the same course several hundred years ago, and admire anyone who can make it through to a distinction, and then onto a career in photography. I know you are not there yet, but I am sure if you maintain the quality that I see above then you have a bright future. Now the story above is strong enough, but the last image (and I think someone else has said it) could well have been a totally deflated balloon, I think the metaphor and symbolism would have been stronger. Other than that no critiscm, nice use of leading lines in all main shots and the use of thirds and selective cropping is pretty much spot on. Interesting to see that you used three aspect ratios to tell one story, its almost as if you are testing the audience to see how they react to any one particular format, rather than completing the series in a set format. Is this somehthing thats taught, or was it a requirement?….. anyway good luck, and hope your assesment is high. Oh and of the top two images, the second is more appealing and well balanced on the eye. And yes they all work well with those songs. Regards Craig @ ID7
janinewhitephotography said,
May 16, 2009 at 1:01 am
Verity,
I love your work
Out of the first two b&w images, for me the first is the strongest in compositon.
Love your balloon images too
Best of luck.
Janine
x
Polis Varnava said,
May 17, 2009 at 12:48 pm
Hello Verity,
I love your work very much, the balloons are great but the train station could be better.Instead of showing just the legs (which is artistic and i like it ) why didnt you show a warm goodbye kiss and a hug. To show that is probably the last time they see each other.You could show the passion and the impact of the last kiss the girl trying to get him back and crying for loosing him.You could show her laying down in the ground crying and reading the goodbye letter after the boy leaves with the train and not just showing her hands with the paper and the guy leaving.In real life the girl should run behind the boy and try to stop him make him change his mind (if you know what i mean), i dont think there was time for the girl to start reading the letter while the boy was still there.Dont get dissapointed your work is great , i just wanted to emphasize some things.
Keep up the great work !
Polis
Graham said,
May 18, 2009 at 2:55 pm
Verity,
I have arrived here via Chromasia.
I think your images are spot on with the theme you have selected. Regarding the choice between the two black and white images, it has to be the first one for me because I focus on the people. In the second image my eyes focussed on the suitcase and I thought that was the centre of focus, whereas in the first the story was a couple separating at the railway station.
Good luck with your final exams etc.
graham
Helen Jones said,
May 18, 2009 at 6:21 pm
Verity,
Lovely strong atmospheric images. Well done! I really can’t decide which of the two monochrome images I prefer. My first instinct is the second one because it shows a lot of thought and creativity although it feels more staged than the first one which is more real somehow. Anyway, I’m sure it doesn’t matter too much as they are both excellent.
The balloon shots are great too – well worth the early morning!
Good luck
Helen
T Vasquez said,
May 19, 2009 at 12:41 am
Verity,
Your compositions are strong and well thought out in relation to your theme. Your nostaligic black and white images tell a sequented story all its own, however, you want to use one image so it is number two. The use of triangulation to represent the connection to the song is the key. I have not heard the song but that is a sidebar to any viewer. The image is the big noise (so to speak). The feet are the connection to what is being told. In the first image the man’s feet are not connecting to the woman’s feet at all. The suitcase is the second connection. On the right of the feet in the first image the suitcase connects to the clock and the sign at the far right; this is the wrong triangulation. In the second image the suitcase and the sets of feet and the train all make sense. This way everything else in the image falls into relation with the connection.
The color images are great-meaning strong and draws the viewer into the composition. The sun and the sky is lost a bit due to the effect of what you are attempting to achieve with your theme (nuclear attack/war). Photoshop could be used to give a slight (just a bit) effect.
I enjoy looking at Chromasia it’s a nice break from my own studies.
Keep clicking,
All the Best,
T
keith said,
May 23, 2009 at 4:59 pm
I agree the top image, with the clock – its an important element to the story line but didnt realize until I read the first comment. Balloon in the sky “feels” better than in the rubble. Whats the BTEC? I’m in the US & went to Brooks a photography school in Santa Barbara – many years ago.
I’m an instructor, photo & photoshop.
einar parker said,
May 30, 2009 at 9:55 pm
First photo – stronger composition go for it! Tells bigger story than the second one.
Baloons I like ballons on the sky more. More space there better story.
I was watching your photos listeningg to the songs and they have in common sunshine sky, then in original german version of 99 luftbaloons Nena sings that baloons are on the way to horizont so…
Good luck fingers crossed!
Karen Massey said,
May 31, 2009 at 7:19 pm
Hi I prefer the second B & W image as I feel there is more of a sense of a relationship (more of a story going on!)